Tag Archives: Hell Raising

kill the Irish man!

Hell Raiser *5 Michael Malloy

“You Can’t Kill Michael Malloy”

The indestructible Michael Malloy, the Irish man they could not kill.

Michael Malloy also known as Mike the Durable and Iron Mike, was an Irishman from County Donegal who lived in New York City during the 1920s and 30s. A former firefighter down on his luck, homeless took to drinking on the tough streets of New York City. He is most famous for surviving a number of attempts on his life by five associates, who were attempting to commit life insurance fraud.

The events that led to Malloy’s death began in January 1933. The five men who planned the terrible deed were Tony Marino, Joseph “Red” Murphy, Francis Pasqua, Hershey Green, and Daniel Kriesberg collectively known as “the Murder Trust”. The Plot involved taking out three life insurance policies on Malloy and then getting him to drink himself to death. They stood to gain over $3,500 (more than $61,000 by today’s standards) if Malloy died an accidental death. Now considering this was an Irishman, I can immediately see that there might be a flaw in this plan, but alas on they went with the plot.

"You Can't Kill Michael Malloy". The Irish man they could not kill!

lethal cocktail of all sorts

Marino owned a bar and gave Malloy unlimited credit, which was his first mistake, thinking Malloy would abuse it and drink himself to death. This didn’t have any effect on him at all. Next up it was decided to mix antifreeze with his liquor, but still Malloy would drink until he passed out, wake up, and come back for more. Then turpentine, followed by horse liniment, and finally a mix of rat poison.

"You Can't Kill Michael Malloy". The Irish man they could not kill!

Necknominate that!

A nice combination of toxins but still Malloy lived.

The group then tried raw oysters soaked in wood alcohol. Getting really desperate now, they used a sandwich of spoiled sardines mixed with poison and carpet tacks. Finally it dawned on them that Malloy could not be killed by poisoning so they decided to freeze him to death. On a very cold NY night -14 °F (-26 °C), Malloy drank until he passed out, was carried to a park, thrown onto the snow, and had five gallons of water poured on his bare chest. All the same, Malloy resurfaced the ensuing day for his drink.

"You Can't Kill Michael Malloy". The Irish man they could not kill!

stiff drink please

"You Can't Kill Michael Malloy". The Irish man they could not kill!

taxi!

Green, a taxi driver, came up with the plan to knock him down with his car, moving at 45 miles per hour.

Finally something looked like it might work as Malloy was hospitalized, but unfortunately it was for only three weeks with a few broken bones, nothing life-threatening. The gang thinking he was dead once he was carted off to the hospital were ready to collect on the insurance policy. But he again appeared at the bar, Malloy returns!

"You Can't Kill Michael Malloy". The Irish man they could not kill!

gassed

On February 22, after he passed out for the night as usual, they took him to Murphy’s room, put a hosepipe in his mouth that was connected to some gas, and turned it on. This finally killed Malloy, death occurring within minutes.

Pronounced dead of lobar pneumonia, he was quickly buried. However, the members of the Murder Trust let it all go to their heads, fighting amongst themselves over the money and with rumours of the Durable Mike Malloy circulating in all of the speakeasies of the city it wasn’t long before the gang were caught.

The five men were put on trial. Green sent to prison, the other four members getting the electric chair. How’s that for justice, and one hell of an amazing story.

Use Facebook to Comment on this Post

Drinking to death. 68 beers 4 bourbons,17 shots of tequila

Drinking yourself to death: 34 beers, 4 bourbons, 17 shots of tequila?

Drinking yourself to death:

34 beers, 4 bourbons, 17 shots of tequila?

Drinking yourself to death? The Winner gets a trip to the morgue, and a mention on the Darwin Awards

Drinking to death. 68 beers 4 bourbons,17 shots of tequila

Beer, and loads of it

August 1999 Australia, a 33 year old computer technician called Allan is about to go into drinking folklore. In a Sydney Hotel Bar a boozing competition known as “Feral Friday” is about to take place, with a 100-minute time limit for drinking and a sliding point scale ranging from 1 point for beer to 8 points for hard liquor. The stage was set for an epic battle, let the drinking commence. This is Australia and this is what they do down under!

An hour and 40 minutes later, our hero Allan took the prize. He stood and cheered his winning total of 236 shouting out that “winners never quit!”. His alcohol level of was at least 353 mg of alcohol per 100 ml of blood, seven times more than Australia’s legal driving limit of 0.05%. After several journeys to the toilet, Allan was helped back to his workplace to sleep it off. Perhaps he was expecting to do some work later on. Unfortunately he never did manage to come out of that nap.

So what we really want to know is what was his poison?

Well a forensic pharmacologist estimated that after downing 34 beers, four bourbons, and 17 shots of tequila, his blood level should have been 0.41 to 0.43 per cent. But Allen had puked up numerous times after the competition ended, so his actual blood alcohol content was a bit lower when it was measured after his death. Let just say there was some blood in his alcohol that day!

The hotel was fined the equivalent of about £8000 for not intervening, however at least Allan didn’t need much embalming. 

http://darwinawards.com

Remembering the late great Mel Smith

Use Facebook to Comment on this Post

Long John

Hell Raiser *4 John Daly

John Daly

Long John Daly

Long John

John Patrick Daly (born April 28, 1966) is an American professional golfer on the PGA Tour. Daly is known primarily for his driving distance off the tee (earning him the nickname “Long John”), his non-country club appearance and attitude, and his hectic personal life. His two greatest golfing accomplishments are his “zero to hero” victory in the 1991 PGA Championship, and his playoff victory over Costantino Rocca in the 1995 Open Championship.

John Daly, the larger than life golf pro, had many addictions. Addicted to fast food, addicted to alcohol, addicted to the cigarettes and addicted to gambling. The fact he managed to win two Golfing majors is a quirk of his sport. How a man carrying a heavy weight, who rarely put in as much practice hours as a you would expect a pro to do, maybe partying all night but could still be a golf professional for the good of 10 years making millions in the bargain, is simply amazing. Putting it simply he didn’t look a golf pro. But he was loved. He was a guy who simply had many problems: gambling debts, four marriage breakups, weight issues, alcohol binges. He had the problems that many people have, and that we can relate to. Usually sports people are perfect; ideal weight, limitless effort to perform at the highest level, millions upon millions in the bank, the perfect life. Here was a guy who was on our TV playing at top sporting events, who looked rough. We liked that, this was a guy who we could understand and appreciate. Unlike the robotic Tiger Woods with the personality of a gnat, Daly always had a huge and cult like following. Though Daly hasn’t won a PGA Tour event since the 2004 Buick Invitational, he remains one of the game’s longest hitters and most popular players. That is why even today he still gets the odd invitational since his name can swell attendances. He also has his own clothing range, book and TV show, all popular with the public.

His first major victory is legendary. In his rookie year on the PGA circuit, he managed to win the PGA championship in 1991. He was lucky enough even to be invited as he was the ninth and final alternate for the championship with Nick Price dropping out and the other eight alternates not able to make it in time. Not enough time to play a first round practice session he power played himself into the lead on the difficult Crooked Stick course. He eventually won the tournament, giving him a three-stroke victory over Lietzke. Daly was subsequently named PGA Tour Rookie of the Year. He was also the first rookie to win a major title since Pate won the U.S. Open in 1976. History was made and the legendary stories of “Long John Daly” were born. He had arrived sleeping in the backseat of a friend’s car, probably hung over, just expecting to have a decent outing, enough to avoid going back to qualifying school. Instead he won, and won big. The winner’s cheque of $230,000 was more money than he had ever seen before, and the resulting sponsorship and endorsement deals poured in. From that point on-wards, Daly became one of the most popular players on Tour, building a loyal fan base. He also went on to win the British open in 1995, unexpectedly, after a playoff with Costantino Rocca at St Andrews.

Thing for Daly, though, was that this success highlighted to the public his inner demons and made his addictions and hectic life on show to the whole golf, and sporting, world.

His gambling: According to himself, Daly claims to have lost between US$50 and $60 million over 15 years of heavy gambling. This includes losing $1.5 million in about 5 hours of gambling on the slot machines in October 2005, after winning half that amount at the WGC-American Express tournament, most of it lost on a $5,000 Las Vegas slot machine.

Proof he had a serious addiction was what he said about this incident, “here’s how my sick mind analyzed the situation,” Daly wrote. “My sponsorship payments would be coming through in January, so I’d be able to pay everything off and get back to even by the beginning of the New Year. Everything’s fine. Everything’s OK. No problem. Hell, yes, there’s a problem.”

His weight: A man with a heavy gait, probably due to all the boozing, his weight was always on issue for Daly. He eventually decided to undergo extreme actions in 2009 by doing some lap band surgery to lose over 90 pounds Initially this improved his game, second in the Italian open, but some observers have suggested that this weight loss in fact made him lose some of his power in his swing, his power game. But then the health benefits override that, and he is looking a lot better and happier these days.

John Daly

Married life

His marriages: He married four times, Daly was even charged with third-degree assault for throwing his second wife Bettye into a wall at their home near Denver. Of course the most famous incident is when one of the wives’ attacked him with a steak knife. He showed up for his second round of golf the next day with cuts and scrapes across his face. Authorities were contacted by him and came to his house, but his wife had already fled the scene and taken their children with her.  According to Daly, he was awakened by his wife attacking him with a steak knife and shouting, “I will kill you.” Still, though, he made the cut on the golf course, typical Daly tenacity.

Of course, he wasn’t famous for his loyalty and fidelity to his women, often appearing drunk with topless women living the life.  Also he had a short fuse as his wife Sherrie Daly mentioned the time John drank a little too much and came home to find that a decorator had painted his house’s walls the wrong colour. “He just came in front of me, his own mother, my sister-in-law, and just started peeing all over the walls.”

His alcohol problems: Now I know the 19th green in Golf is the best hole I can think of playing, but very few, if any other golfers, apart from John Daly, are known for their boozing. It really is such a boring and soulless sport. A big difference between country club to professional, another reason perhaps for Daly’s popularity?

In March 2008, Daly’s swing coach Butch Harmon quit, saying that “the most important thing in his life is getting drunk.” John Daly has rebutted this, in words though, because his actions might tend to suggest he did like to drink a good bit and have a fine time. He once said he drank a shot of JD everyday at 23, was booted off a British Airways flight for harassing a flight attendant while being drunk,, trashed the odd hotel room, teeing off on a can of beer in a pro am as ones does, and at the ’98 Greater Vancouver Open Daly was visibly seen shaking as he tried to play golf obviously suffering from the shakes (we all have experienced this but maybe not on live TV!)

john daly mugshot

Mug shot

Then there is the famous mug shot when in October 26, 2008, Daly was taken into police custody by Winston-Salem police after being found drunk and a passed out outside a Hooters restaurant. Daly was not arrested or charged with anything. However, the police released his mug shot to the media which resulted in massive negative publicity and a dressing down from the golfing authorities who fined him $10,000. Don’t think it upset his fans too much to be honest.

When Daly missed the cut, instead of going home, or returning to the practice green early the next day, he would go to the bar and hangout with fans, and models,  signing autographs and getting his photo taken.. One could argue if this is why he didn’t seem too bothered not lasting into the latter stages of many a golfing competition. This wasn’t a world you would see Tiger Woods or the “character” Ian Poulter anytime, ever!

So what did all these shenanigans do for his golfing game?  Apart from a tendency to throw his clubs into lakes and pin his balls all over the place, and citations from the authorities for non trying a record 21 times he, all in all, managed to build a decent golfing career, had decent sponsorship deals, won two majors, and earned enough to live comfortably –if he didn’t squander it all in the casinos. But he doesn’t have the longevity that many golfers do; he now isn’t ranked in the top moneys list so Daly must now depend heavily on sponsor invitations. As far as individual tournaments are concerned, Daly is exempt for life in the PGA Championship and AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am, and up to age 60 in the British Open.

Daly still continues on-wards but his best days are long gone. But he will be forever remembered as the guy who made golf that little bit interesting, and gave hope to all those amateur golfers in that if a guy clearly overweight, nursing a hangover, smoking as he goes around the course can win majors, then there’s hope for  the rest of us

John Daly we salute you.

Some of his most famous quotes

“I learned you can’t drink whiskey and play golf.”

“I was never able to have three of four beers. One’s too many, and ten just ain’t enough. Basically it’s the way I’ve been since high school.”

“Everyone has addictions and my problem is that I have 5,000 of them. If it’s not drinking, it’s gambling; if it’s not gambling, it’s eating anything from burgers, doughnuts to M&Ms. The only addiction I don’t suffer from is chasing women.”

“Everybody goes through divorces. There are millions of people that have drinking problems. There are people that their weight goes up and down, just like mine. It’s just life. And I think people relate to that. I really do.”

Use Facebook to Comment on this Post

Necking Craze, the drinking game gone viral online,

Necking Craze

Neknomination Craze

Neknomination Craze, the drinking game gone viral online,

Neknomination Craze


The neknomination craze represents the latest drinking game trend among the youth, leading to several fatalities in the UK and Ireland. This game, which originated in Perth, Australia, has spread globally thanks to social media.

How the Neknomination Craze Works

Participants in the neknomination craze drink their beverage, then nominate two others online to follow within 24 hours. The cycle continues with additional stunts, all filmed and shared on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. Strong peer pressure drives this trend, and those who refuse face online ridicule and shame.

Read more about the dangers of Neknomination here.

The Risks of the Neknomination Craze

The neknomination craze has quickly escalated into dangerous stunts. While drinking games and showing off have always been popular, the competitive nature of this game pushes participants to perform increasingly extreme and risky acts. The introduction of bizarre substances into drinks and the performance of dangerous stunts highlight the alarming nature of this trend.

Neknomination Craze, the drinking game gone viral online,

The Lads

For instance, one viral video shows a man pouring beer into a toilet, then being lowered head-first into the bowl to lap it up. Another disturbing video features two men in Cornwall who catch rabbits, kill them, and eat their livers with cider. Such extreme behavior raises serious questions.

Reflecting on the Neknomination Craze

Taking a step back from the neknomination craze is crucial. Remember, online actions are recorded forever, and what seems amusing now may not be in the future.

Though this site celebrates drinking and revelry, I must avoid hypocrisy. Had I been younger, I might have tried similar antics. Peer pressure and media influence make resisting trends more difficult for today’s youth. So, is the real issue the peer pressure and internet rather than alcohol itself?

Social Media’s Role in the Neknomination Craze

Should platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube ban dangerous nominations? They should act more responsibly, considering some benign content gets banned while harmful videos persist.

The internet amplifies the madness, encouraging extreme content. As we look forward to the next craze, it’s reassuring that social media didn’t exist during my youth!

Check out a compilation of the neknomination craze online:

Use Facebook to Comment on this Post

Winston Churchill. British PM extraordinaire

Hell Raiser *3 Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill

Prime Minister, Great War leader, Nobel Prize winner, painter, army officer, rhetorician and ace speech maker, I give you the one and only Winston Churchill. Not bad for a guy who was near permanent sizzled on the sauce, on a diet of champagne, cognac, whisky, claret, and port. Where do we begin with this man, his drinking yarns are legendary and so much is written about his drinking tales.

Let’s have a look at some of these stories

winston churchill

Winston

Churchill, aged 25, was sent to cover the Boer war, for the newspaper the Morning Post. Not quite knowing how he would survive so far away from home, he did the obvious thing and brought with him some supplies, 36 bottles of wine, 18 bottles of scotch, and 6 bottles of vintage brandy. Its not quite clear what he was expecting!

While serving in India for the military, he frequently had to add whiskey to his drinking water. This was a way to prevent disease. “The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable we had to add whisky. By diligent effort, I learnt to like it”. Which was a valid enough reason to be fair.

As Prime Minister, Churchill didn’t slow down. Churchill admitted he relied on alcohol.

He always had a glass of whiskey by him, starting the day with a “Papa Cocktail” – a hint of Johnnie Walker to be topped up with water throughout the day, and he drank brandy and champagne both at lunchtime and dinner, not forgetting his love of big ass cigars.

But the thing with all this was that Winston Churchill was still able to go about his business as leader of Great Britain and a lifetime as a leading politician. He never appeared to be too drunk, at least not in the public eye. That was the most remarkable thing about Churchill: he always seemed not that bad. How did he do it? Could it be that he liked his food and that he did seem to involve drink in and around his meal times, food good for absorbing the alcohol content?

Funnily enough Churchill hated people who appeared drunk, it was unsightly. Raised as an aristocrat, he believed drunkenness to be contemptible and disgusting, and a fault in which no gentleman indulged. “I have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who get drunk,” Churchill once wrote, and he was rarely seen to be so. But one could argue, if he was using an ounce of sarcasm here, he did like to joke after all.

When questioned on his drinking, he always had a witty retort. Here is a few of his most famous quotes and retorts:

Lady Astor once told him that if she were married to him she would put poison in his coffee. To which Churchill replied, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

When Bessie Braddock accused him of being drunk in Parliament, saying, “Winston, you are drunk! You are disgustingly drunk!” the great man replied, “Madam, you are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.”

While visiting King Ibn Saud of Saudi Arabia, Winston was informed he could neither smoke nor drink. It was for religious reasons, during a banquet thrown in his honour. Winston wasn’t having any of this malarkey. He informed the monarch that, “My religion prescribed as an absolute sacred ritual smoking cigars and drinking alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and the intervals between them.”

Winston Churchill serial boozer

Winston Churchill

Supposedly, in 1936, Winston won a bet with Rothermere, that he would be able to keep from consuming hard liquor for an entire year. This is a bet which he won. Yet, immediately following the conclusion of that year, he went right back to drinking.

“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” Churchill, his attitude on his alcohol intake.

“Hot baths, cold champagne, new peas and old brandy”, the four essentials of life according to the great man.

Telling the butler at the Whitehouse to be prepared, “I must have a tumbler of sherry in my room before breakfast, a couple of glasses of scotch and soda before lunch, and Champagne and 90-year-old brandies before I go to sleep at night.”

“When I was younger I made it a rule never to take strong drink before lunch. It is now my rule never to do so before breakfast”

Bernard Montgomery the WWII British general, and all round cunt, who of course never touched a drop of alcohol, once “I  neither drink nor smoke and am a hundred per cent fit.” Churchill on hearing this was heard saying I drink and smoke and I am two hundred per cent fit.” And he did live to a good ripe age of 90!

We salute you Winston Churchill. You have shown to us drinkers that we too can drink and achieve so much if we put our minds to it, or maybe not!

Winston Churchill and cigar

Iconic cigar photo

Use Facebook to Comment on this Post

Dean Martin, The King of Cool

Hell Raiser *2 Dean Martin

Dean Martin, The King of Cool

Dean Martin, King of Cool

Dean Martin, The King of Cool, was born Dino Crocetti, the son of an Italian immigrant barber in Ohio, the great star of the big screen, TV, comedy and the music clubs of Las Vegas. He had boundless charisma, oozed sex appeal, always extremely self assured, and was a top talent. He was the man and also was as famous for his views on drinking as he was for his singing, dated a Miss World and was one of the members of the infamous Rat Pack.

The legendary crooner belted out such classic tunes as “That’s Amore”, “Everybody loved somebody”, “Volare”, amongst many other top hits. Martin’s relaxed easy going style was endearing and extremely popular. You just could not like Dean Martin.
Leaving school at a young age, he started delivering bootleg liquor, was a croupier in a speakeasy during the time of prohibition, worked in a steel mill, and became a boxer at the age of 15. Along the way he started to sing with local bands, and got work with the Ernie McKay Orchestra.

Teaming up with comic Jerry Lewis got him his big break. After a rocky start they both eventually honed their skills into a well received comedy/music act duo. This success led to a series of well-paying engagements. The act consisted of Lewis interrupting and heckling Martin while he was trying to sing. They eventually made it onto American TV screens with movies to follow. This made both of them extremely wealthy but they eventually fell out and Dean Martin went it alone, and for a long time ruled the Strip for decades with his swinging nightclub act.

Dean Martin, The King of Cool

The Rat Pack

As Martin’s solo career grew, he and Frank Sinatra became friends. In the late 1950s and early 1960s, Martin and Sinatra, along with friends Joey Bishop, Peter Lawford, and Sammy Davis, Jr. formed The Rat Pack. The men made films together, formed part of the Hollywood social scene, and were politically influential, on friendly terms with the great JFK. Their shows were legendary, lot of singing, improvisations and boozing. The Rat Pack epitomised coolness. Ocean 11, or whatever you call that nonsense, is a pale shadow on these legends, Brad Pitt and George Clooney, you kidding me!
In 1965, Martin launched a new TV show, The Dean Martin Show. Martin played up his notorious image as a half-drunk crooner, that liked hitting on women, and making off the cuff slurred remarks about fellow celebrities. The TV show was a huge success and was often a ratings winner.

A few of his funnies –
In 1967 Dean Martin got to share his hamburger recipe in The Celebrity Cookbook. The recipe was
• 1 pound hamburger’
• 2 oz. bourbon in a chilled glass
Preheat a heavy frying pan and sprinkle bottom lightly with salt. Mix meat handling lightly, just enough to form into four patties. Grill over medium-high heat about four minutes on each side. Pour chilled bourbon in a chilled shot glass and serve meat and bourbon on a TV Tray.

Frank Sinatra later made his own version and this was his way to make a hamburger.
1. Call for Deano.
2. Tell him to make you a fuckin’ burger.
3. Drink his bourbon.
‘You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.’

Dean Martin, The King of Cool

DRUNKY

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” (also attributed to J Lemmon and F Sinatra)

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt”

His license plate was “DRUNKY”

Unfortunately Dean Martin died of acute respiratory failure at his Beverly Hills home on Christmas morning 1995, at age 78. The lights of the Las Vegas Strip were dimmed in his honour, and he is buried in Los Angeles.

We salute you Dean Martin, smooth and straight.

Use Facebook to Comment on this Post

No Alcohol!

The Evils of Alcohol and The Non-Believers!

The Evils of Alcohol and The Non-Believers!

Religious freaks who go on about the evils of alcohol, drinking, and other “fun” activities like sex, drugs, and gambling give me a right old pain. It’s fine if that’s what they want to believe and they are perfectly entitled to hold that view. However, it becomes an ache when they try to enforce their beliefs on anyone else.

The evils of alcohol

Recently, British courts tried some fanatical Muslim men for attempting to enforce Sharia law in East London. They stopped homosexuals from holding hands and attacked people drinking outside bars—absolute fruitcakes. Their behavior just shows how bored out of their skulls they are; seeing anyone having a good time really gets on their nerves. Clearly, they can’t find any solace in their shitty religion to comfort them. I’ve walked around that part of London many times, sometimes pissed as a fart. I only wish they had bumped into me—I would have had a good right old laugh at them!

But of course, it’s not just Islam that frowns upon drinking. Similarly, many Christian types also love to have a right old barney about the evils of alcohol. For example, there’s a group called the “Drunken Glory” movement, which is on the rise in the USA. Essentially, they get inebriated and high off the Holy Spirit. Check out the link below. Jesus H. Christ, that’s mad. However, no matter how hard they try, they still come across as a bunch of boring bastards with nothing much to say. In the end, I bet a lot of them are just missing a good pint.

Bitter

Another group of people who piss me off are the ex-drinkers who endlessly whine about their time in rehab and their ritual of AA meetings, especially the Betty Ford types. They are cultish, moaning and complaining all the time—like Roy Keane, who just stays bitter… ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Look, you lost the game, you couldn’t control your drinking habit, and that’s fine—not everyone can. But please, stop going on about it, and enough with all the books about your “time in rehab.” No one cares. Frankly, I often wonder what they actually did to end up in rehab. I mean, you have someone like Daniel Radcliffe (nice guy and all) or Ben Affleck or whoever, some celebrity who probably had one or two rough nights and couldn’t hack it. Poor creatures! But, for God’s sake, it’s not like we’re talking about Keith Moon here, so spare us the dramatics.

Anyway, rant over. Just leave me to enjoy my drinking in peace.

Sources:

‘Muslim Patrol’ 

‘Weird’ preacher starts ‘drunken glory’ cult 

Use Facebook to Comment on this Post